NEW YORK: Flatiron
They say every dog has his day. But why shouldn’t every dog have his week, month or year? Might as well have your cake and eat it too. After all it’s summer and this is the time to be wild, free and enjoy the fruits of your labor during those dark cold winter months. We have spoken to several regular guys over the past several months who’s education goes from a peanut to a PHD and who’s income goes from a negative $500,000 to well over a few million dollars per year. What was our conclusion? Each and every one of these cowboys enjoys the company of women. We have comprised a short list of helpful hints that can help any man get his dream girl for one night or more.
10 THINK SHORT TERM
Don’t talk about relationships, kids, marriage or anything that has to do with a long term future with a woman on your first meeting. Maybe after 10 months of having a sexual affair – then yes. You have to remember that most people end up in divorce these days and that fairy tale of a relationship frightens women. Dive in knowing that everything she says is probably a lie or a deception. After all, you really don’t know her and vice-versa so enjoy the moment and concentrate on the next 20 minutes at a time when meeting her. If you are the guy who starts talking about kids and marriage on the first date, you might as well have stayed home. If a woman is into marriage talk on a first date then there is a psychological malfunction with her and you need to exit immediately.
So let her know casually you want to have a good time and that you enjoy being around her. Put your intentions out there proudly and with authority by saying you want to see her again, even if you haven’t shagged her yet. She will respect you for it because it’s a sign of strength and women love guys will balls. It can be a major game changer which can turn her on sexually to a point where she might just proposition you to come back to her love shack.
9 TALK MORE ABOUT HER
Learn how to shut the fuck up (pardon our French). Women hate guys who talk, talk, talk and talk – especially about themselves and how much money and personality they usually DON’T have. It’s a real eye opener and vagina closer. You want to brag about something, brag about how much you don’t get laid because that’s what you are telling her whenever you open your mouth about you, you and you. Talk to your woman about her and her only for as long as you can. The things she is doing, how she has amazing style, the way you like her attitude. It may have peppered elements of bullshit. Then again, you really do like her style and everything else otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting their trying to get her to show you her birthday suit. It’s part of the process of wooing her. She wants sex. You want sex. Let her know how amazing she is in as many different ways possible. And do it sincerely.
After all, she is working out, doing yoga, easting sushi, becoming a vegetarian, wearing her best high heels and handbag all for YOU. Maybe not you specifically, but for the idea of finding Mr. Right. So don’t act like Mr. Dumbass and treat her like she is the best thing that has ever walked through that door in your life when you see her. She will get a natural high off of it. When she asks you more personal questions about who you are, keep it short and turn the conversation back on her. It will also create a bit of mystery around you by dodging a few questions. Let her fantasize and create some dreams in her head about you, rather than you putting them in her mind.
8 LOOK SMART BE SHARP
It’s a foregone conclusion that she will be looking her best, or attempting to, when meeting up with you for the first time. Don’t be the guy who smells like he just came out of the gym with a wrinkled shirt and mustard on your pants. First impressions are hard to forget so make sure you look like a guy who has his shit together from A to Z. Somewhere in the back of her mind, probably to a much less size of a degree than yours, she is also thinking of hooking up. The window is always cracked open slightly for sex, but it’s up to you to make it happen. Making an impression that you are wearing the same underwear from your 10 mile bike ride earlier in the afternoon is a deal breaker. This is what she will sort of think when seeing how badly wrinkled or dirty your gear is that you are wearing.
If you have a desire to be with a woman and want to have the tiniest corner of an opportunity to get her in the sack for a night or longer, make sure you don’t look like as if your balls might smell like your feet. Trim your beard, fix your hair and don’t drown yourself in cologne. The whole idea of personal hygiene is a non negotiable necessity. Doesn’t matter if you are covered in tattoos and you have a faded jacket. As long as you take care of your personal human elements that God gave you when you were born, you’re good.. There is not a valid reason why in this day and age you should have yellow teeth when showing up to greet her. Think about it and get the white strips.
7 DON’T BE A YES MAN
There are some women out there who love accessories. They love jewelry, handbags, fur coats and of course – men. If you start out saying yes to this and yes to that on your first and second meetings or “dates”, then you will end up being the rug she walks on. That doesn’t mean you should be argumentative or controversial, but unless you are her gay friend that wants to be like her, just don’t yes her to death. If she says something you don’t agree with, gauge how important it is to contradict vs. how much it might impact your chances of getting some action. This is simply being sexually “wise” because your goal is the get her on your pleasure pickle. Some women like a little heat or spice to liven up the night so they purposely start arguments. Some women are used to men following and doing everything for them like a puppy dog. They are the most bored and boring to know, honestly.
Be the first to say no and show her you are a wolf and not a puppy dog. It will rattle her game and unhinge everything she thinks she knows about men. Her perception is one shaped by men, don’t forget. Many are constantly belittling themselves to her because she is attractive. After all, that’s why you are out with her on a date and trying to get her in bed. You, like the rest of a large sector of the male population, have a strong desire for her. Let her know that you are willing to go along with most of her ways, but that you have your own agenda as well. She is never going to forget you and will discuss with her friends for hours about how you politely and seductively shut down some of her fantasy style perceptions on life. You may not get her the first night but she will take your call in a few days and “allow” you to see her again if only to quench her crazy curiosity and bring up the same points of disagreement.
6 GET IN SHAPE
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that women often go for raw looks. Washboard stomachs and hard bodies, yes women like these things. It doesn’t matter how old you are, stop eating that doughnut and go for the low calorie snacks. Put it this way, would you be turned on by a woman in lingerie with a jelly roll around her waist? Exactly, so to see if you are out of shape it’s fairly simple. When you get out of the shower, stand straight and put your chin down to your neck. If your stomach is blocking the view from seeing your alter ego and his two twins down there, you need to lay of the chips. You don’t have to be a lean tennis player but try to walk a few miles everyday (better to run) and simply, DON’T EAT. Your stomach will shrink if you cut your portions in half everyday.
Doctors may advise against not eating, but when you see the silhouette of female perfection up against your muscular body, you will be glad. It won’t matter to her in the short term that you are broke, dumb, non motivated, can’t speak English or even a non dedicated cheating bachelor. You could literally be dating her sister and if you have that stallion body, she will break down and give it up to you. Why? Because so many guys don’t even try. So go ahead and fine tune your physical self. She will be grabbing your arms all night, believe it. And you won’t have to try to charm her as long. Physical beauty is instant, think about it.
5 DON’T BE CHEAP
The word generosity is synonymous with the title of king. Be a king, not an accountant. The economy may perhaps be tough and there are certain night time costly rituals that go hand in hand with seducing the one you want. But don’t bring a coupon to a restaurant or try a happy hour dinner. Better to find places that are low key and pack in ambiance without making you feel like you won’t be able to cover your BMW lease next month. Take an independent creative route instead of going to the most popular or in the scene places. They usually suck anyway and will distract her attention away from you to the rest of the room. And to be honest, a woman isn’t going to go home with you because you did or didn’t take her to some fancy place.
If she is remotely interested in having something sexual with you then she will meet you at Starbucks, no joke. This is America so put it on your credit card. You want to see her in lingerie right? Is she or is she not worth the 14% interest per month for what could be the greatest sex night of your life? Alright then, there is your answer. Slap it on the card and don’t let it spoil the mood she has with your new washboard stomach and clean shirt. You are a well groomed guy who deserves some hot sex.
4 BE A GENTLEMAN
Women go for guys with manners. Open the door for her. Pick her up in an Uber and let her know that you are the type of guy to look after her, even if for a few hours. Don’t play around on your phone all night texting and emailing. It shows that you have no focus and she wants you to be focused on wanting her, even if she thinks it won’t happen that night. Give her the attention and whatever you do, don’t look at other women in the room. You will know when you messed up because she will be happy to point it out for you by saying something coy like, “oh she is a pretty girl,” or “oh, I like her dress.”
Keep your eye on her, the prize. But don’t grab her and start talking about sex or dirty (unless she initiates after a few drinks) fantasies. Give her the eye movement but not the hand movement. Whatever you do, don’t pretend to be Casanova or go overboard kissing her ass. You need to balance the compliments and actions with sincerity. Expect nothing but be prepared for everything (in which case you will have a few condoms on you). James Brown said it best, “This is a man’s world, this is a man’s world. But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl.” You are down for whatever and whenever, but women are less bold so be the gentleman and offer her your respect. This is very important in sealing the deal. Restraint turns them on.
3 BE REAL
Most women can tell when you are bullshitting. Depending on how much they are into you shapes the outcome of the evening from the various degrees of bullshit. Meaning, they go along with it because they are attracted to you or they bolt because they are not. They have heard it all before – lies, promises, stories of wealth and dreams for the future… blah blah blah. Don’t be that guy who is going to do this, that and the other thing for her. Remember, you are aiming small. You need to get her in bed before anything “real” can be even considered. She’s already with you on a date so that window is cracked open. Bullshitting will force it shut for certain. She will have an advantage here because although she might be bullshitting you, she will believe it’s just standard play dating. It’s complicated, but it has to do with them playing with dolls as kids, different toy play scenarios etc.
Therefore, she is accustomed to not only being bullshitted but dishing the bullshit right back to the bullshitter in such a way that he begins to wonder if he is dreaming. No honor amongst thieves scenario. Regardless, a warrior doesn’t have to pretend to attack, so go ahead and break down her bullshit with some old fashioned honesty. Now there is a thin line between being honest and being too honest, borderline insulting. She may fish for compliments and say something like, “I wish I had bigger boobs.” You may be wishing too, but don’t tell her. Just roll with it. Better to cross the line softly in another way. The more real and raw you can get with her, the closer you will pull her in. The closer she gets to you mentally and physically during your little outing, the better chance you have of getting what you both want later in the night.
2 GET TIPSY
If she is into wine or cocktails, then you just moved up the sexual social ladder by at least 30% before even having said a word. Best case scenario is that she is an alcoholic who becomes extremely sexually excited after a couple of drinks. They usually are into margaritas or mixed fruity drinks. Worse case scenario is she counts her cocktails and lets you specifically know that she, CAN NOT HAVE MORE, than one and a half drinks. And she will specifically talk about how she gets crazy, sick or some catastrophic event occurs after 1.5 drinks. She might even turn on you like a Pit bull suggesting that you are trying to get her drunk, so watch out.
Having a couple of cocktails helps to definitely break the ice and lower barriers. With the combination of looking fit and being a gentleman, one margarita can be the difference between going home solo or bringing her back for a bed breaking sexual bender between a couple of social drunks. Don’t over indulge because neither of you want to actually be “drunk”, just a little tipsy or loose. Alcohol has a unique way of shaping the mind from a “no” scenario to a “yes” scenario. It is the wild card because you really don’t know what can happen. Mental illnesses or paranoia can come out of too much liquor. Or, you may find out more than what you bargained for as she gets too real (wasted), unloading all the skeletons from her closet thanks to Johnnie Walker. The more she trusts being with you, the more she will feel comfortable having that over-the-top glass of wine.
1 IMAGE IS EVERYTHING
Andre Agassi used to say it best on television, “Image is everything.” This really is the most powerful aspect of having success for getting action. This doesn’t mean running over to Savile Row and getting tailored, nor slapping a down payment on a Porsche. It means the perception of what she thinks about you as well as what others might or might not have said. But remember, all press about you, good or bad is actually good for you. Keep your image with her clean from the moment you pick her up. First impressions are hard to restructure in the brain.
If you have a natural sense of style, sophistication and charm, then you are ahead of the game. If you are a sports fanatic, beer drinking, overweight, hot dog eating guy who wears baseball caps around town, you better have a big bank account (although that will attract a different kind of woman – who will be having an affair with the six pack stomach guy). Don’t pretend or try to be something you are not. If you wear a suit everyday to work, be that guy. If you are a rock n roll musician with tattoos all the way behind your ears, be that guy. If you are sweet pushover who does what people tell you to do, well don’t be that guy. John Goodman acted it out best in a recent movie, THE GAMBLER. Find your own “fuck you position” and that will be your image. You want the woman in lingerie with a great body. She wants a guy in a “fuck you position” who has the individual power to do whatever he wants (and in shape). Don’t forget that power comes from within and is the ultimate aphrodisiac. Real power doesn’t come from any economic budget or social class, but a belief from within. Believe it and she will see it. If she can see it, she will believe it and then you are in business…