Not On The List, Not A Problem

Some of us have been here, most don’t even understand it.

The topic is how to enter a party when you haven’t been invited. Well, if you are lucky, you can go with your friend who “was” invited or you can tag along as the third wheel (since most invites have a +1 and you just became the +1.1) if they allow it.

However, most of the time the actual idea of the “party crash” means, your name is nowhere to be found on the list, period. This is not a “club” scenario where you can just lay down your credit card or have someone pull you in, no no no this is not a “public” party or event. FYI, ALL CLUBS are “public” venues. What does that mean? Well in a simple form that means they need a license for “public assembly” – just google it. By definition of the law, they CAN NOT exclude you from entering. You can actually call the police if they don’t let you in, provided you are a good street litigator. You know those things called liquor licenses which requires them to pay the state and the city and the mafia (oops that doesn’t happen anymore)? A “private event” or “private party” is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Do not be fooled at a club when they say “we have a private party tonight”. THEY DO NOT. If you can purchase alcohol, it’s not private and it’s public or by definition… usually LAME.

Private events or parties are usually at a “venue” or an “event” space that is not in the business of selling alcohol to customers on that particular evening. Most events happen at large industrial studios, lofts, homes, raw event spaces, boats, beaches and yes even a PUBLIC VENUE SUCH AS A CLUB (this is the tricky one). The club can provide the space for the event but usually it is due to the fact that the event coordinator has rented the entire venue out for that evening or for certain hours. As an example, Gucci Fashion Party will happen between the hours of 8pm and 11pm at a club. The club charges $5,000 up front for 3 hours or perhaps $0 depending on how much they want that brand in their club so they can brag about it and attract other paying coordinators. The club will provide the staff and perhaps even an open bar if negotiated. However, 80% of the time the event coordinator brings in their own liquor sponsor, perhaps a vodka company like Absolut or champagne sponsor. Once the party is officially over at 11pm (as an example time) the open bar ends and now you have a club that is full of 300 or more guests that are so drunk from all the free booz, they begin to lay down their credit cards and the club is happy because they have instant cash flow, can use the Gucci Party for marketing (as an example) AND if lucky, get to keep the left over booz and SELL IT. Now that’s not too shabby for them.

Now that we have a grasp of what is NOT a private event, let’s examine how people work their ways in to it. Best way to go about it is to ask your friends, is anyone invited, as mentioned before or do they know someone who works for the event coordinator or owner or manager or the venue where the event is being located. This is the easiest way to get in and the best because you are under the radar and legitimately “in”. If you have no way in whatsover, you don’t know anyone and you are lost without a clue as how to get in, then you have to get creative. Always approach the private event people with confidence, after all YOU BELONG there inside, half the people crashed anyway so who cares? Say your name, it won’t be on, but then again you never know who has the same last name as you. It could have been a misprint. Help them find your name on the paper or Ipad. Most of these door people are interns and they aren’t memorizing everyone’s name and face unless they have super human memory skills. You might get lucky and even get to glance at the list and point out another name. Your name is Gardner and you aren’t listed but the next name is Geller, as you point, and you go with that. They will be confused and even happy that you helped them find your name (in this case your new name). Travel with a friend who has “excellent” vision. You know the ones, they can see writing on a piece of paper from across the room. You don’t know how they hell they have superman optics but who cares, bring them with you. They can spot a name for you both as you give your real name.

Pretend you just went out for a smoke and say you are going back in when everyone is a bit confused and crowded around the door. Believe me, no one knows who you are (unless you are Jude Law or Angelina Jolie and even they don’t look exactly like themselves in real life, maybe Jude does, but still…), no one cares who you are, they want to be done with the nightmare check in process. If you provide them a name, you are in. If you have a friend inside, then call them, ask them to come out and get you or throw you a name to get in. Chances are the door people won’t care that you used the same name over and over again. They are in college 80% of the time and “interns” which means NO PAY. They want to be there as much as you want to be in an Irish pub in the middle of Indiana on a Saturday night with a priest. If there is a line then you could get lucky, make a friend who is on the list. Walk in with them and then invite them for a drink later. They will appreciate the humor and it is a story for their grandchildren.

Rush the door, duck your head and walk in when there is confusion. There is always some idiot who was actually supposed to be on the list and wasn’t so then it becomes like a national security issue, guards pull them off to the right or left of the door and people start looking at him or her (drawing all the wrong attention to themselves, the attention that YOU do not EVER want to draw to yourself) as it is the most exciting activity so far at the door. That’s your moment to go in AROUND another check in person to the left or right who is NOT paying attention to you. You would be surprised how many times I have seen this and wish I had my video selection on my camera when it happened.

You may get lucky or you may get denied. If you get denied then you have to go party at a “public” venue or with the “public”, which may not be that bad. If you get really lucky, you might know someone when you arrive who is happy to let you in or bring you with them as their guest. But don’t be deterred at least until you have made the journey down to the private event. Remember, you belong there and they should be happy to have you. But never, ever, over dress and/or argue with the door people. It is the fly on the wall that buzzes in when no one is looking…where did it go? Oh, at the private event bar mingling and having a great time. 😉